What was I thinking? What in my past experience would convince me that I was a halfway decent parent? At this moment, all I can see is anger, frustration, and failure. Oh I am so annoyed with my child(ren) and myself. What would make me ever to have wanted more? I knew I was a crazy after the first child was only a few months old (She was colic-y for 12 seconds and I thought I was going to DIE!) but no- more children came.I was even excited about it! What was I thinking??? Its like my parents were pillars of patience and that was going to rub off on me? WHO was I KIDDING??? My child(ren) does not listen to anything I say- and waits until the vein is pulsing in my forehead before getting with the program. When I TRY to calmly solve the problem- I am taunted to near insanity!
By the time the kids left for school I had ranted and raved- and found the "lost" things by my self in the "totally lost" place of PLAIN SITE!
I strangely, inexplicably, and psychotically, I would take another one. Each time I would put my heart out there again only to be shown that No- you should not be a parent. You do not show enough strength when your child tries to test you, you do not have the will power to not get upset, and just because you love them, does not mean they will ever, EVER, listen to you.
* Edit- and the Child who drove me to hysteria today just threw up at school. So she felt terrible and I didn't even know. Another point for me!
4 comments:
Glad to hear that your just exactly like the rest of us crazy mothers! It really does help me feel better to know that I'm not so abnormal!
Is it sad or just normal that I feel the same way daily?
I hope your puker gets better soon!
I love that I never know what I'm going to see when I come to your blog :) I'm so curious... what in the world was going on?! Hope to see you at Enrichment tonight (then you can tell me all about it) :)
This is us almost daily. Especially today when MORE people are coming to look at this house and it has to be spotless. Right, spotless with 4 little kids running around!? I've had it and it's only 11 AM.
Calgon take me away---or better yet, take my kids away!
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