The Good The Bad- no I am not ugly!

Oh how I love New Years. Each year we get to evaluate the current state of our lives and resolve to be smarter, better, thinner. It often borders depressing thinking of all the ways you have failed personally, spiritually, physically. It seems so wrong! Ok- ok- maybe I am the only pathological one who beats herself down- trying to think of ways of betterment. Its not like that is the intention! No! Its just the neurotic mind ramblings of a thirty something wife, mother, daughter, and friend. You start with: This Next year I really want to simplify this- or beef up that- then all the reasons WHY I need to do those things, mingled with as much self doubt I can muster sneak in polluting and tainting the good intentions I had with the initial reasons for wanting new resolve.

Not doing that this year! Nope! I have reflected and came to the realization that last year I did accomplish 2 of my resolutions last year. To be clear- they were my very hardest two!!! So Hah narcissistic me! HAH! The ultimate and utter demise of GeXie. (Goal #4) I half heartedly had her on the list because I knew it was time to give up the Warcrack, but SO did not want to. Smartest thing I did all year- albeit the hardest. Also to find time to spend better time with my family. (Goal #2) That was harder than I thought it would be too! The more I worked, the more tired I was. The more I wanted to hide in a corner to calm down, the less time I spent being happy and with my family. Sheesh Idiot! Quit your job! - yah, I and so hard headed it ridiculous!

SEE! I did accomplish something! That already sets this years resolve setting time in a lighter more positive mood! No inane rambling: set goals that are attainable yet not unreasonable. Sure. I should ALWAYS do that, but here! Again- I say HAH! My second plan of assault on the goal setting-self kicking party is tooI am not the sharpest tool in the shed and I enjoy inflicting pain on myself. Er.. well, not really, but it appears that way. This way I can REALLY keep positive, and avoid the yearly beat up session. Wooo Hooo! Learning! Its Marvelous! I should learn lessons more often! So are you ready- for the LIST. The List that will actually happen, the list that I did not burden my heart over? Oh how I can't wait to write them down and make it official! Ready??!!!

• Continuing my quest to make our home happier. One little step at a time. This goal includes a bit more prayer, song, and paint. (I still have SO many Brown ceilings.)
• Exercise nearly everyday. No not to lose X amount of pounds. I am not doing that. I will just focus on being strong and healthy each day. I have worked out how to do water aerobics quite frequently this year. The X amount of pounds will just have to take care of itself.
• Drink much more water. I Love water- and I gave up the soda. This should not be too hard!
• Improve our family, growing together. Lots of ways to do this. We have been doing great, and everyone is on board for the plans David and I have made.
• Finally. Recognize and improve my talents. I often wonder if I have talents. I do not play an instrument, draw, write, whatever. Now- I know my gift. It has been pointed out to my when I was 17, but I did not see it. In prayer I have asked to know what my gift on this Earth is, and all this time it has been right in front of me- in my blessing. I have the talent to love. LOVE! Yay me! I am good at that! I love harder than anyone I know, and sometimes wonder why things that seem so important to me- are not important to others. Its because my gift is to love! I want to improve that and share more, give more, LOVE more.

I can do this. I feel happy and optimistic about the New Year. Its wonderful to have avoided the boxing ring this year. Usually The Older me comes out with a black eye, a bloody lip, and the title handed to younger me. Again HAH! I win This time!