Sometimes when we are driving my kids are really great. they will sit and tell goofy jokes or stories, or better yet: take a nap! I usually enjoy these car rides. I can sit and enjoy their banter, listen to music, or when they are sleeping, hear NOTHING! Most of our car rides are to Ogden and back- for a dentist/orthodontist trip. (Because I never really go anywhere else.)As is in life however, there is always a flip side. A dark side. A secret side, that you do not want the world to know about but they all know its there. Well they do if life is not perfect for them! I have the terror ride. The return of the monster children ride. The rides where when I get home I need to lock myself in the back of my closet and talk myself into coming out again. The car rides where I contemplate handing my driver's license into the state, and then asking for committal papers.
When we are all together we finally came up with the best threat, and punishment for endless fighting and bickering while driving. One day while we were driving Dave told the kids that if they did not stop fighting that they would get out and walk. Seriously- my parents used to say the same thing! We instantly stop! Walk?! No way!
Not my kids! They kept at it...fight fight fight! So Dave actually pulls over. Even I was surprised! We told the kids to stand by the car while we decided what to do. I think he was just so sick of them fighting- that he wanted them out so he could hear his own thoughts for a second. But we came up with a fabulous plan! One of us would drive up the road a half mile or so. The other would walk with the kids. I am usually the one to walk, I like the exercise. So there we are- kids are walking, no fighting. If they complain I am there to give the stink eye. (and to keep them safe of course! I wouldn't want someone to take my babies or for them to get hurt!!!) Since the one time- we have only done it maybe 2 other times. Its quite effective. I have to admit that sometimes its a pain to pull off the freeway and find a safe place to walk, but its worth the end of the bickering!
ANYWAY- usually however I am driving alone. So our fool proof threat of having to walk is out the window. I have tried everything. singing, turning up the music, hollering, threats of grounding, distraction. In the end they are still fighting. I can't figure out what the issue is. sometimes they are perfect- sometimes they make me want to pull my hair out. Recently as we were driving home from the dentist, the kids were tired and hungry. Some one was touching someone, and some one else was breathing out of their nose and not their mouth, and the last one has a thread that was blowing on the other ones shoe- or something equally as ludicrous. I had done all of the fore mentioned tactics to try to have some order in my car, but to no avail. I finally yell (probably near the top of my lungs)" I have a new pack of gum at home. ONE TWO THREE QUIET GAME!"
Surely the thought of a new pack of gum, the most sought after prize in our household would quiet them! The car was instantly quiet! I was so thrilled. It has been 5 seconds of bliss! 6 seconds. 7 seconds. 8 seconds. The silence is shattered as Nicole (our resident goof ball) yells from the back-
"I LOSE!!!!"
Everyone bursts out laughing- including tyrant Mom. That Nut. Needless to say, the fighting had ended and the mood had changed. The silly banter of children commenced. Mission accomplished! Not by me- but by my "loser" daughter.
